Charlie Webster Blog
Guys, don’t feel bad about watching the World Cup…just keep your missus happy with some pampering
June 13, 2010
Filed Under Football
My earliest World Cup memory is of a woman making an impact, albeit in a slightly embarrassing manner. I was sat at home in Sheffield after school with my dad watching the opening ceremony of USA ‘94 and Diana Ross shanked her penalty wide – it was an open goal and she still missed!
(Don’t give up the singing, Diana.)
That tournament began and ended with a dodgy missed penalty, Signor Baggio’s the more memorable of the two, but the main thing I took away from four weeks in front of the telly was just how incredible the tournament is. The carnival atmosphere, the colourful fans, the world united in one footballing showpiece.
What was there not to love? I was hooked.
It was only as I got older that I realised my passion for the World Cup wasn’t normal, for a lass. I was the only girl in my class to skive off school in 1998 when England’s game with Tunisia was shown
live on telly at 1pm. My girlfriends couldn’t understand what the fuss was about, but seeing Paul Scholes’ beautiful curled goal that day sure beat double science.
This year, at the ripe old age of 27, I’m lucky enough to be working in the media and now I’m even more excited about the World Cup than ever. Just like most of you guys I’m all set to try my damndest to watch every match, whether it’s England, Brazil or South Korea. Recent technological advances mean that thisWorld Cup will be readily available on more mediums than ever; your TV, laptop, and even your phone.
And on that note, I’ve got to stick up for fellas who are due to get it in the neck from their wives and girlfriends over the next month or so. It might cost you a spa treatment or two, but there are a number of ways to keep her sweet, take it from a girl who knows! A good female friend of mine insisted that her other half gave her a massage and cooked her dinner every single day throughout the duration of the last tournament in Germany. He dutifully alternated his time between pampering his wife and watching football down the boozer, and they’re now as happily married as any couple you could ever meet. Just remember lads that 10 per cent of people have ended a relationship because of football rows – that’s nearly five million people – and those arguments are only going to intensify as we watch Fabio’s boys attempt to bring home the bacon this summer. That’s a lot of lawyers’ fees…
I’m sure there’ll be more marital harmony in England should we win the tournament, but what price for an African winner?
Personally, I would love to see it.
It wasn’t until 1978 that an African team managed to win a World Cup match.
Any ideas? It was Tunisia, who defeated Mexico with a couple of late goals. They also managed a goalless draw with West Germany, but it wasn’t quite enough to see them progress to the quarter-finals.
Roger Milla’s heroics in 1990 captivated the world, and now, 20 years on, we have six African sides bidding for glory. For me, until Michael Essien’s injury, Ghana looked the strongest of that contingent, but without the Chelsea man they’re suddenly struggling to get out of their group; as indeed are Didier Drogba’s Ivory Coast.
Maybe Samuel Eto’o has a point to prove for Cameroon after being criticised by Milla for not stepping up to the plate when on international duty. But whatever happens, let’s just hope all six teams acquit themselves well to well and truly put African football on the map.
At the time of the 2006 World Cup, I had just moved out to Singapore to present ESPN’s football coverage in Asia. The majority of Singaporeans supported England which made me feel
right at home, but on my first night out I got into a boozy argument with a group of ex-pat Americans who were all slating the beautiful game. Two weeks later, with the World Cup in full swing, and the USA taking on the might of Italy, the same group of fellas were shouting at the TV as though they were seasoned experts in the nuances of ‘soccer’!
Thankfully as soon as the US were dumped out of the competition by Romania, they all returned to hating our game.
There were plenty more great memories from 2006. I hosted an open air screening of the England vs Ecuador game in a fanpark with Steve McMahon, who was treated like a king for his exploits at Liverpool, and we had great fun at those events. However, the one that sticks in my mind for all the wrong reasons was the Portugal defeat in the quarter-finals.
Not just because of the result, but the bar I watched the game in was full of lubricated Englishman, and a similar number of equally refreshed Portuguese… I was the only girl in the bar as it all kicked off. Good job I’m a fast runner…
For the Love of the Game
Filed Under Football
It’s started…your relationship will be put on hold for at least a month….
A whole entire month of one word answers and grunts from your other half and that’s only when they want food or a beer, no more Corrie or East enders in fact you can forget about TV unless it involves 22 grown men chasing a piece of sewn up leather around a playing field, oh and be prepared for endless days of sulking if the match didn’t quite go their way.
I write this as a football lover and presenter whose girlfriends can’t stand football and after having a heavy chat with a group of guys about the World Cup my poor girlfriend looked completely baffled and seriously bored. So I started to feed her some football one liners, she loved it and so did the guys! So it got me thinking maybe I could try and ease the boredom and pain for non loving football ladies out there…I told my friend if you can’t beat them join them…forget dress to impress as you won’t be noticed, how about impressing your other half with some football lingo and at the same time you get to ogle over fit hunky men with solid thighs of steel and a bank balance to match. Girls it doesn’t harm to dream
Let’s start with some names you might have already heard of but if you haven’t you should most definitely look out for. One, because they are skilful players and all at the top of their game and two, because they are seriously good looking eye candy to keep you entertained during the 90 minutes.
So here they are, and of course we have to start with the hottest property out there in both respects Cristiano Ronaldo of Portugal and Real Madrid (your partner will be in wonder if you can throw in who the footballers play for domestically)
Staying abroad with Fabio Cannavaro, Italian captain, set to join Al-Ahli Dubai from Juventus after the World Cup , and if you want to see what he looks like in just a pair of pants have a nosey at last year’s Italian D&G advert. It’s well worth it.
Over to Germany for Lukas Podolski who’s domestic team is Koln, a quality striker who ouses confidence and sex appeal.
Aussie Tim Cahill should also be on your radar especially if your man is an Everton supporter. In conversation you can throw in his impressive heading ability although from the looks department he is a bit too small for my liking.
I’m afraid we have to go back to Portugal but it’s worth it for Raul Meireles of FC Porto. The midfielder has been described as a tattooed kinky player with style. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.
Last but not least I have to throw in some home grown talent. This was harder to find than I first thought. Wayne Rooney who’s also known as Shrek, no, all 6ft 7 of Peter Crouch, no, David Beckham, yep from the side lines, but on the actual field who? No Theo Walcot and his baby features, I’m still stuck any suggestions? Ok Aaron Lennon it is, I did give Frank Lampard a quick thought but that soon went! So Aaron Lennon who plays for Spurs back in the Premier League and he’s a northerner so he got the edge over Lampard! Hey us northerners have to stick together!
Now to add some credibility to this list of hunks you need some decent phrases to throw in the mix once in a while. These never fail.
If your partner is shouting at the TV and your unsure what’s going on, with confidence and disgust just say ‘referee’. In male’s eyes the referee is always wrong.
When the opposing side scores then say ‘surely that was offside’
If the ball is near your goal, the one you don’t want it to go in just yell ‘Clear it’
If a player from your team get’s fouled (ends up on the floor) a single one line of ‘that’s got be a yellow’ will engage your partner in football rant.
And lastly if the team your man supports is losing or lost DO NOT say it’s only a game or maybe next time they’ll win. This could result in break up talk.
Good luck and remember the best bit of 90 minutes of football is at the end the players take their shirts off so stick around!